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    6. 夢遊的犀牛

    夢遊的犀牛

    Highlight(3)
    Author 林禹瑄
    Publisher 讀書共和國 /潮浪文化
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    Released
    2024/11/27
    Language
    Traditional Chinese
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    Pages
    266
    ID
    479098
    ISBN
    9786269889365
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    生命究竟是一趟旅行,或是一場夢境?
    當我們總是在路上,我們是走入另一個世界,還是返回了自己的心?

    ——詩人作家林禹瑄首部散文集——
    |詩人吳俞萱,東海大學中國文學系助理教授李時雍——專文推薦|

    而公寓外的車輪仍在前進,擦過軌道發出空洞的聲響,要我搖搖晃晃地做夢,有時就回到了萬里之外的床上,想起豐原一類的地方,想起二伯像一團巨大的黑影摔出公寓窄小的門,然後想起他已經在十多年前的某個夜晚一個人死在豐原的鐵軌上,沒有人能知道是不是意外。是那樣通過層層電話和言語傳遞、突如其來又帶著時差的死,因為安靜而顯得殘酷、冷峻,令我在漆黑的房間裡縮起了身體,彷彿是我正躺在冰冷的軌道上,等待列車從遙遠的地方靠近。地面開始震動的時候,有什麼銳利而堅實的東西一把匕首一樣溫柔地抵著我的背脊,像在說該走了,又像要說不要害怕。
    是犀牛。——〈夢遊的犀牛〉

      在〈機場〉裡,她寫:「齊克果說自由像一個深淵」,是故,她的心情成了她筆下的文字:「凝視深淵使人暈眩,而暈眩是一場藥癮,拽著我在接下來幾年遊蕩過一個又一個機場……」她又寫道:「第一次聽到巴布狄倫的那首歌正是十八歲在加州的那年暑假,我英語不好,整首歌只聽懂了『像一顆滾動的石頭』。一直到幾年之後才明白過來,在那句之前他唱的是『獨自一人,沒有回家的方向,無人知曉』……那時我可能以為滾動指的是自由。」
      當我們一直在路上,我們是走入另一個世界,還是終究返回了自己的心?生命若是流動的饗宴,為何,有時像停滯的死水?
    她彷彿在那裡,又不在那裡。在〈廢墟〉,談起對廢墟的迷戀,她形容離開廢墟之後,回到日常生活的自己:「……在乾淨齊整的實驗室裡又成了一個前途光明的人,每天努力打亮一副又一副假牙,經常感覺被柔軟刷毛來回碾壓的是自己。」「我其實只想要那些刮痕和糙面都留在那裡……完美讓我疲憊,圓滿使我不安,我只要所有的疤痕、斷片、傾頹、衰敗、殘缺,都保有原本的形狀放心地哀傷。」
    而在所有的不安和哀傷背後,詩人以雪亮的雙眼梭巡世界。〈在遠方〉,她說:「所有人都走遠之後,我所在的地方就成了遠方。」偶爾,亦有對生之熱情燃燒的喟歎。如〈頂樓〉之中,看著法國高空走索人的記錄片,她寫到看見走索人追尋生命熱情時眼裡閃爍的光:「我懂他,我懂……」只是,「欲望慢慢朽慢慢凋零,日子這樣淡薄人這樣老,夢做得太久一覺醒來卻是什麼都不想掙了……於是像分手隔天晨起刷牙時不意瞥見眼角淚痕,極偶爾的時候也才這樣想起來,啊原來自己是燃燒過的人。」
    叩問歲月,叩問人生,是這樣帶著哀愁,卻又優美的文字,悄悄擊中了我們的心。
    人在異鄉,記憶卻留了在島嶼,作家筆下種種思緒無不纏繞著家鄉的意象。〈夢遊的犀牛〉訴說生活的艱難,憶起的是親人的逝去。在〈不存在的抽屜〉則寫道,異國廢墟裡的書桌抽屜同樣讓她想起青春期的歲月:誰不是隨身帶著一個抽屜?
    除了心理和夢境的不斷跨越,林禹瑄在地理上也不斷跨越邊界,看見許多更遠更寬廣的風景,以文字刻劃出不同的縱深和視野。她以透明幽微的文字,為我們拂去人生一陣又一陣的迷霧。文字清麗,心思細致,如同月光在湖面閃動的粼粼光影。
    生活從來不是一件容易的事,或許我們的人生就是不斷地從山裡來,往山裡去,而最終,就像〈山牢〉裡林禹瑄所寫的:「山沒有回答。我又揹起沉重的牢,下山,去了更遠的地方。」又或者,如〈瑪德蓮〉所說——
    「瑪德蓮來或不來?那是明天的事。」
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    推薦序|懸空,必須劇烈——詩人/吳俞萱
    推薦序|穿透的夜——東海大學中國文學系助理教授/李時雍

    【輯一】半途
    機場
    廢墟
    青年旅舍沒有青年
    夜巴
    邊境
    瑪德蓮
    明信片

    【輯二】遠方
    在遠方
    垃圾
    施工
    長日
    秋天
    等雪
    下里吧人

    【輯三】夢遊
    夢遊的犀牛
    不存在的抽屜
    長腳的日子
    頂樓
    山牢
    過境
    他城

    【輯四】旁觀
    旁觀他人之貧窮
    馬庫由
    法文課上的異邦人
    沙發衝浪
    法蒂瑪
    屠殺紀念日

    逃難的人(代跋)
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    作者簡介

    林禹瑄

      一九八九年生。臺灣臺南人,布魯塞爾自由大學新聞碩士畢業,現為自由撰稿人,旅居比利時。文學作品多次入選年度詩選、年度散文選,報導作品曾入圍卓越新聞獎。著有詩集《那些我們名之為島的》、《夜光拼圖》、《春天不在春天街》。
    More

    Details

    Released
    2024/11/27
    Language
    Traditional Chinese
    File format
    EPUB: Fit in all devices
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    Provide EPUB
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    ID
    479098
    ISBN
    9786269889365

    旅行

    青春

    詩

    夢

    散文

    夢遊

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